There are many different toys made for couple’s play. Some are specifically g-spot and anal-friendly, while others target the clitoris or the perineum (the area between the balls and the anus).
If you and your partner want to try out a couples vibrator together, we recommend starting with foreplay. Try using the toy on your nipples or arousing each other’s clitoris with it.
1. Turn it on
If your partner is new to using a couples vibrator, consider starting with a soft introduction. Try a vibrating ring that slips over his penis, which can stimulate his frenulum (the area of skin between his anus and his shaft) as well as his clitoris.
You can also use the toy on other external areas that crave sensation, like his thighs, neck, back, inner wrists, and nipples, which can feel intensely pleasurable with just a few taps of the toy. The key is to keep the pressure light, otherwise you can end up absorbing too many good vibrations in your hand and lose that sensational feeling.
Another great way to start is by using a couples vibrator during oral sex. If he has a penis, place a bullet or wand vibrator at the base of his shaft and hold it against his cheek as you go down on him. The sexy vibrations combined with the wetness of your mouth will create unexpected and intense pleasure. You can also use it on her vulva or clitoral hood, stimulating her G-spot and clitoris with powerful, pinpointed stimulation.
2. Apply some lube
In addition to making the experience more pleasurable, lube can make a couples vibrator easier to use, especially for the woman. “A woman’s g-spot and clitoris are sensitive,” says Shani Hart, a certified sex coach who offers foreplay courses and 1:1 counseling. “If she’s using a vibrator with her partner during sex or masturbation, it’s important to have some lube on hand.”
Some women are reluctant to introduce vibrators into sex because they worry their partner will feel intimidated or uncomfortable. But that fear seems to be unfounded, based on LiveScience’s earlier study, which found that most men are not put off by their partners’ vibrator use.
When applying lube, keep in mind that it should be water-based. You can either apply it directly to the sex toy, or on your finger before stroking it on sensitive areas like the glans, labia, and frenulum. Some c-shaped vibrators have a posable mid-section, which allows them to be positioned so that it stimulates the partner’s anus or the clitoris. You can also use a couples vibrator on the wrists or inner elbows, which are other erogenous zones that tend to feel good when touched with vibration.
3. Place the sleeve over your penis
The first thing you should do when using a penis sleeve is apply a little bit of water-based lubricant to the inside and outside of the toy. Then, get a good grip and slip it over your penis. Once the toy is in place, you should be able to move it around a little to find your favorite spot to rub and vibrate.
A lot of people use penis sleeves to create the appearance or sensation of added length or girth, but you don’t have to be dealing with erectile dysfunction to enjoy them. You can also use them to stimulate the frenulum and clitoris, and they’re great for oral sex.
The Lovehoney Clear Penis Sleeve costs $25 and has a comfy loop that fits over the balls. It’s designed to stimulate the G-spot and clitoris, and it even has a small ring that you can use for penetration. The Sync from We-Vibe is another great option, and it’s designed to stimulate the clitoris and G-spot while also offering penetrative action. It also has a sync function, so you can give your long-distance partner total control of the intensity.
4. Turn it on
When you’re ready to turn up the heat, apply water-based lubricant (if necessary) to the toy and press and hold the power button for two seconds. Then, using the left and right buttons, cycle through your favorite modes until you reach orgasm!
When it comes to couples sex toys, the possibilities are endless. You can use them in a variety of ways, including during oral sex. If your partner has a vagina, try using an internal sex toy to stimulate her g-spot and clitoris. You can also use an external sex toy, like a wand or bullet vibrator, to target other erogenous zones such as the nipples, balls, or inner thighs.
If you’re feeling adventurous, you can even try an external sex toy such as a rabbit or strap-on that can be used anally or anal. Just make sure to discuss with your partner how you plan to use the toy and ask for their consent! They may want to play with it differently than you do, which can make for a lot of fun.
5. Enjoy penetrative sex
Many couples love to use a vibrator for masturbation in bed and beyond. Fleming recommends adding lube to both the toy and the areas of the body you’ll be stimulating—it enhances sensation, and the mind associates wetness with arousal. Stewart also suggests experimenting with different vibration modes, and communicating often to express what feels good. For example, if the tip of your partner’s vibrator feels great around your nipples, ask them to gently circle you back and forth.
Some women fear incorporating sex toys into sex for the fear of making their partner feel uncomfortable or like they’re “in the wrong.” However, this is rarely the case. In fact, according to an article from LiveScience, men don’t feel intimidated by the use of sex toys—instead, they’re excited by it. Plus, sex toys help bridge the orgasm gap: studies show that 37 percent of women require clitoral stimulation to reach their Mt. Orgasm. To get the most out of your sexy couples toy, try using it during oral sex or stroking each other’s nipples, balls, inner thighs, and behind their ears.
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