Anal sex can be painful for some people, but it doesn’t have to be. There are ways to make it more pleasurable, like using lots of lube and starting slow with fingers or a small sex toy.
Also, don’t be afraid to tell your partner if it hurts or doesn’t feel right—that’s important for consent!
Use lubricant
Just like any other sex act, anal sex can hurt for a variety of reasons. Some of these include pain from lack of lube, sphincter tightness, and new sensations that you may not be used to (think: primal pressure). But most anal pain is a result of being rushed or inserted with too large of an object. It’s super important to use an ample amount of lube, and a thicker lube is usually best for the anus since it doesn’t dry out quickly.
Some lubes are made specifically for anal sex, and some of these even have chemicals that numb your skin. This may feel good at first, but it can make you more likely to hurt yourself because you won’t be feeling the pain that tells you something is wrong. Especially if you’re a newbie, pain is the most important thing to be aware of and to communicate with your partner about.
It’s also a good idea to use water-based lube for anal sex since silicone-based lube can cause stains and isn’t condom or toy friendly (it can degrade latex). You can also opt for barrier protection, like a condom or dental dam, for added reassurance that nothing will get messy. And once the anal play is over, don’t forget to clean up — either with a warm washcloth or a hypoallergenic wipe. Then cuddle and talk with your partner to check in on how things went and whether anal is something you want to explore again or not.
Start slowly
Anal play can cause discomfort the first few times, as the anus isn’t used to being penetrated. This is normal, but it’s important that you take your time and go slow. This will help you and your partner get comfortable with the experience. You can also use lubricant to make it more enjoyable. There are many anal lubricants on the market, and they can help reduce pain during penetration. It’s also a good idea to avoid anal anesthetic creams, as these can have serious health risks.
Anal sex can be a fun and intimate sexual experience, but it’s important to be prepared for the possibility of pain. Using plenty of lube, starting slowly, and communicating throughout the process can help you and your partner enjoy the experience without any unnecessary discomfort.
You can also try doing some anal foreplay to ease into the experience. This can include touching or caressing the anus, and even penetrating it gently with your fingers. If you feel comfortable enough, you can even tell your partner to try anal penetration as part of foreplay. If you’re unsure how to proceed, it’s best to consult with a sex therapist or doctor before trying anal sex. They can answer any questions you might have and provide tips to help ensure your safety. They can also recommend the right anal lubricants for you.
Be relaxed
Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubrication and needs extra help. Using plenty of condom-safe anal lubricant is essential to reduce pain and make anal penetration comfortable. This will also help you avoid any infections or other issues that could cause discomfort or pain during anal play.
Anal sex feels very different for both the giver and receiver, and it can be scary to try it for the first time. Taking a warm shower or bath before anal play can help you relax and prepare your body for the sensations that will come. Having good communication with your partner is also important. This can include discussing the kind of anal play you want to have, how much pressure is comfortable for both of you, any safe words you’d like to use before sex starts and so on.
Having anal sex is very personal and can be deeply intimate, but it should never be forced or pushed against your will. If you’re unsure about anal, it can be helpful to work up to it by starting small and moving slow. Use foreplay and lubrication, start with your fingers or a sex toy, and be sure to communicate with your partner about what feels good and bad during anal. And always remember to use a condom, especially if you’re non-monogamous, for protection against STIs like anal herpes and gonorrhea.
Talk to your partner
While it is important to use lots of lube, there are other things you can do to make anal sex less painful. For starters, start slow and do plenty of foreplay. This will help you both relax, which can make the experience more enjoyable. It’s also a good idea to talk to your partner throughout the experience, as this can be a great way to communicate about how it feels. This doesn’t mean that you need to keep talking every few seconds, but it’s a good idea to check in with each other every so often and let them know how you’re feeling.
It’s also a good idea to only have anal sex with people you trust. If you have anal sex with someone that you’re not sure about, there’s a high risk of infection and STDs. This can include gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, and HIV. So be careful and make sure to always use a condom when having anal sex.
While it can be a little uncomfortable at first, anal sex can be incredibly pleasurable. Many people of all ages and genders find anal sex to be very sensual and exciting. So don’t be afraid to give it a try! Just be smart about it and make sure to use a condom, take it slow, use lots of lube, and be relaxed.
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