It can be easy to get stuck in a rut with your vibrator. But there are simple tricks that can help you reach spine-tingling orgasms again.
Start by gently teasing your most sensitive erogenous areas like your nipples and inner thighs. Then, slowly move toward your vagina and clitoris.
1. Start at the bottom
It’s important to remember that you’re using a tool to bring you pleasure, not hurt you. If you feel any pain or discomfort, it’s best to stop and try something else.
Vibrators are a fun way to get orgasms from different areas of the body than you’re used to, but it’s important to ease into them. You’ll want to find a quiet time and place that you can enjoy without interruptions, ideally with a friend or partner who is supportive of your exploration.
Then, set the mood by minimizing distractions and focusing on sensual breathing. Taking deep breaths will help you relax and get into a more pleasurable state of mind, increasing the chances of orgasm. Once you’re ready to start, apply lubricant to your toy and on the areas of your body that will be stimulated by it. Use whatever lube you normally have on hand, though a silicone-based one is ideal for vibrators. You’ll want to reapply lubrication as needed. This is a key step for all sexual experiences, but especially when first starting with a vibrator.
2. Gently tease your vagina
Using a vibrator can be more versatile than you might think. You can use it on your anus or vagina (as long as it’s inserted correctly) and also try rubbing it against your nipples, inner thighs and other erogenous zones to activate arousal before moving it into your vagina.
Some women find that a vibrator can be used to stimulate their clitoris without having to remove a tampon or Dutchess cup, so it’s worth trying this with your partner too. Just make sure that you’re not pushing too hard, as it can lead to discomfort.
You can also tease your clit with a vibrator by gently running it up and down your labia and over the top of your clitoris. Some people say that they find stimulating the area around their labia more pleasurable than directly on their clitoris. Keep experimenting with different areas of your body, the pressure you apply and the intensity of vibrations to discover what feels best for you. Remember, multiple orgasms are not a myth and the first time you reach orgasm with a new toy is often the most intense experience.
3. Apply pressure to your G-spot
Located toward the top of the anterior vaginal wall (the area often called the clitoris) and near your urethra, this erogenous zone is easy to find when you’re aroused. You can use your fingers or a G-spot sex toy, but a G-spot vibrator can be especially effective as it’s shaped specifically for this area.
You may have a hard time locating this spot the first few times, but persistence pays off. Eventually you’ll feel a spongy texture that’s perfect for teasing with your vibrator. Just keep in mind that everyone’s body is different, and what feels right for one person may not feel that way for another.
The key is to focus on what makes you happy and to experiment with what feels good as your sensitivity and sensual interests develop over time. Keep in mind, too, that the first time you try any new toy is likely to be your best experience, and it’s normal not to have an orgasm every time. Just keep trying and keep teasing until you do. Your body and sex life will thank you.
4. Gently tease your clit
Using a vibrator to tease and stimulate the clit can be extremely pleasurable for both you and your partner. But be careful not to rely too much on this method. If you always use the same position or the same way to get to your climax, it can become dull and lead to “vibe fatigue” which is why we recommend trying new techniques and positions to keep things interesting.
One fun technique is to rub or massage the hood of skin (also known as the clitoral hood) with your pointer finger and middle finger in small circles. This can be very stimulating for most women and can lead to orgasms if done right.
You can also try gently stroking or massaging the clit and g-spot with the vibrator on a low to medium power setting or erratic pulse mode. Be sure to stroke over a layer of clothing and to be gentle – you don’t want to push it too hard! But don’t stop there, the nipples and pubic mound are also highly sensitive areas that can be incredibly enjoyable when touched with a vibrator.
5. Gently tease your penis
Some men have trouble letting their vibrator do more than just stroke their penis. If your man has this issue, you can try gently trailing it on the head of his shaft or around the scrotum. Then move in close to give him oral sex (check out our Blow Job Guide here) or a hand job.
You can also use your vibrator to stimulate his clitoral hood (the flap of skin that covers his clitoris). If you do this, be sure to apply plenty of lubrication.
We’re so used to seeing sex toys on women that it can be hard for us to imagine men enjoying them. But there’s no reason why they can’t have orgasms just as easily as we do. The key is to use the vibrator slowly and sensually, exploring erogenous zones such as the breasts, nipples, thighs and vagina. It’s also important to talk to your partner and listen for visual and verbal cues to let them know when the vibrations feel good. This will increase the pleasure for both of you and build anticipation for what’s next.
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