You just had a great, steamy session with your partner and now all you want to do is cuddle up in bed and talk about how amazing it was. But your partner is already dozing off. What gives?
There are many reasons why people feel sleepy after sex. We consulted with experts in the field, including a sex therapist and an evolutionary psychologist, to find out more.
Hormones
Whether you’re masturbating or having sex, your body releases hormones that make you feel drowsy. This is because of the way they affect your brain and body’s natural sleep rhythm. The drowsiness you feel after sex depends on what kind of sex you’re having and how much you’ve eaten or slept that day. Men and women also react differently to these hormones.
“The biggest reason for feeling drowsy after sex is due to the release of oxytocin,” says Costa. Oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone, helps regulate stress hormones and creates a calming effect in the body. It also increases the production of melatonin, which is your body’s natural sleep-inducing hormone.
When you have sex, your body also releases a combination of other chemicals that can make you feel drowsy. These include vasopressin, prolactin, nitric oxide, and endorphins. Many of these aren’t released until you orgasm. And if you don’t orgasm, you may not release the energising hormones to counteract the sleep-inducing ones, which can leave you feeling buzzed and awake instead of sleepy.
If you want to sleep well after sex, it’s important that you orgasm as often as possible. That’s because the more orgasms you have, the higher your levels of prolactin will be. This is because higher prolactin levels help you feel more sexual satiety, while lower prolactin levels encourage arousal.
Exhaustion
In movies and romantic comedies, you see couples snuggling up in bed, drifting off to sleep after a blissful session. And while this is a great goal for postcoital sleep, it’s not the reality for everyone. For many women (and men) especially, sex can leave them feeling winded, rather than relaxed.
This is because sex is a workout. It increases blood flow, increases heart rate and releases endorphins. That’s a lot of energy expended, and it can be particularly taxing on people with cardiovascular issues.
Plus, sex often leads to orgasms, which are exhausting in their own way. When we orgasm, our brains release a cocktail of neurochemicals that lead to feelings of tiredness and drowsiness.
In addition to that, fatigue can be caused by a wide variety of things, including illness, poor diet and exercise, stress and emotional concerns, and even certain drugs and medications. If you’re dealing with unrelenting fatigue, it may be worth discussing it with your doctor.
Mental stress
While this may not be the most obvious reason, it is important to note that many people feel a significant amount of mental stress after sex. This can affect your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep throughout the night. Having a regular practice of relaxation techniques, such as breathing deeply, can help to reduce your feelings of stress and allow you to sleep better at night.
In addition, it is recommended to avoid consuming any caffeine or alcohol before bed. Both of these substances can interfere with your body’s natural sleep cycle and cause you to feel wired and unable to calm down. In addition, drinking a warm glass of milk or chamomile tea can also promote feelings of relaxation and calmness that may help you to fall asleep.
It’s not clear why this happens, but some scientists have suggested that it might be an evolutionary response to sex. The cocktail of hormones released during orgasm are believed to have a role in bonding with your partner, so you may be feeling sleepy as a result. Other researchers have suggested that it could be a way to prevent women — whom studies have found can get just as sleepy after sex as men, particularly after orgasm — from seeking other partners.
If you and your partner are experiencing frequent post-sex insomnia, it’s a good idea to speak with a sex therapist or counselor. They can help you to learn how to communicate effectively about sex, sexual intimacy and other issues that may be affecting your relationship.
Physical pain
It’s frustrating when your man falls asleep right after having sex. Especially when you know that it doesn’t have anything to do with your relationship, his performance in the bedroom or his overall sexual prowess. It’s easy to jump to conclusions and assume that your partner is just a bit bored or that he doesn’t feel like cuddling up for a post-sex talk. But the truth is, he’s probably sleepy because of the hormones that are released during orgasm. Both oxytocin and vasopressin are known to lead to sleepiness because they are both energy-sapping and calming at the same time.
In addition, the involuntary contraction of muscles during an orgasm can cause cramping. This can be particularly uncomfortable for women who have problems with their digestive or urinary tract. If these symptoms are accompanied by other signs of infection (such as fever, body aches or discharge), it’s important to see a healthcare provider immediately to get the proper treatment.
Overall, if you are a woman who experiences pain during or after bedtime sex, it is important to consult with your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider. Depending on the reason for your discomfort, they may refer you to a specialist such as a gynecologist or urologist for further evaluation. In most cases, these issues can be easily diagnosed and treated with the proper care.
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