After a viral TikTok video put them back into the spotlight, sex pillows are popping up everywhere. These bolsters can elevate the pelvis for missionary, doggy style or any other position that encourages oral and penis stimulation or deeper penetration.
They’re also useful for bondage and other types of kink play. But how exactly do they work?
Positions
Sex pillows may sound kinky at first — and they can certainly be used for kink play — but they’re also ergonomically designed to make both intercourse and solo antics more comfortable. They make tricky angles, new sex positions and even deep penetration easier to achieve (and sustain).
While some use sex pillows because of back pain or pelvic issues, others use them to get sensation they might not be able to achieve on their own. “Pillow sex,” as it’s called, is relatively safe and effective and can lead to mind-blowing orgasms if done right,” Philadelphia-based sex blogger Tatyannah King tells SELF.
A wedge-shaped sex pillow, like the Dame Pillo or Liberator Wedge and Ramp Combo, can be placed under your hips to elevate them, making it easy to achieve a legs-on-shoulders position that will open you up for oral and other pleasure. This is a great position for beginners or anyone who wants to increase the amount of sensation during masturbation.
A ramp-shaped sex pillow, such as Adam & Eve’s, can be slipped under the knees or bum of your partner to raise and tilt their pelvis. This position is called the Ride ‘em Cowpoke and it can be a lot of fun, as well as give sensation to the G-spot and prostate. It’s also a good position for doggy, anal and other rear stimulation.
Choosing a Pillow
Whether you’re a sex pillow veteran or newbie, picking the right one is a process. There are many different shapes and sizes — wedges, ramps and half-moons, for example — as well as material options like inflatable. Ultimately, it’s up to the user to determine what feels best, but there are some guidelines.
First, “choose a quality sex pillow,” Lovehoney sexologist Chantelle Otten tells Body + Soul. You’ll want to make sure the pillow is sturdy enough for repeated use, and the stitching looks good. “It’s important to avoid cheap sex pillows that can’t withstand the wear and tear of regular sexual positions,” she adds. “It’s also a good idea to choose a pillow that has a removable, washable cover, because sexual positions can get messy.”
The most popular types of sex pillows are made from foam and come in a variety of shapes such as wedges, ramps or half-moons. Some have velvety, moisture-resistant covers that are machine washable. Look for a removable microfiber cover, as these will make cleanup much easier and more comfortable. The filling in a sex pillow should also be considered, as some people are irritated or allergic to certain materials.
Experimenting
Adding a sex pillow to your bedroom antics can help you explore new positions with your partner or increase the pleasure in existing positions. As long as you and your partner are both comfortable, this kinky extra can add spice to anything from climaxes to oral play or fingering.
Sex pillows are firmer than a regular bed pillow and designed to bolster different body parts during sexual activities. They come in a variety of shapes, including wedges, ramps and half moons, to meet the needs of varying users. “They’re meant to assist positioning and promote comfort,” says Carol Queen, a certified sexologist for Good Vibrations and co-author of The Sex & Pleasure Book.
Many people use sex pillows with their partners during penetrative sex, but they can also boost orgasms when used alone. It may take some experimenting with the pillow to find out where and how it feels best, but this is all part of the process of finding new ways to get intimate with your lover, explains relationship and sexuality therapist Chanta Blue.
One easy way to use a sex pillow is with the legs-on-shoulders position. Place the wedge part of the pillow under your shoulders and place the ramp part over your vulva. Then, straddle your partner and lean back for g-spot action. The pillow can also support your hips while in bent-over positions like doggy or missionary.
Storage
Sex pillows can be bought at some adult stores or a myriad of online retailers. Skip sketchy Amazon sellers, and look for something that’s durable, easy to clean and comes from a reputable manufacturer.
Some sex pillows are designed to hold different kinds of toys (dildos, probes, or even the best hands-free vibrators). Others are more general wedges, while still others—such as the half moon pillow or the cylinder—can be used for a wide variety of masturbation moves.
As you explore what’s possible with a sex pillow, you might want to get a few different types or even try your hand at making your own. For example, a basic orthopedic foam pillow, when used with a bedsheet or other lubricant can feel like a built-for-purpose sex pillow—and it’s often a lot cheaper than buying one.
If you’re looking for erotic stories to inspire masturbation and other sexual pleasures, check out the Dipsea app—it’s free and available on a number of platforms. A sexy voice in your ear can add a whole new element to solo play or partner kink, and it might make you want to experiment with your pillow even more! And remember, as long as the sex is consensual, there’s no wrong way to use a sex pillow. If you’re interested in light bondage, you might also find that some sex pillows come with O or D-rings for attaching restraints.
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