One of the most important aspects of intimacy is being able to communicate your needs. This is true of both sexual and emotional intimacy. Be direct during foreplay and intercourse about what turns you on.
It’s a little more complicated than that, of course, since intimacy is such a personal thing. But with a bit of practice, you can learn how to be more intimate with your boyfriend.
1. Get to know each other’s body
The first step toward sexual intimacy is getting to know your partner’s body. This can include discussing your sexual fantasies, experimenting with different positions, and more. It’s important to be open-minded and not judgmental when exploring these topics with your partner, as this can help create a sense of trust and intimacy in the bedroom.
In addition to focusing on your physical intimacy, you can also work on emotional intimacy with your boyfriend. A few ways to do this are by engaging in intimate conversations, trying new things, or having a tantric sex session. Tantric sex sessions are designed to connect couples emotionally and sexually, and can include anything from eye gazing straddles to circular breathing.
If you want to increase the sexual intensity of your tantric sex session, try using a little lube and leaning into each other’s shoulders while breathing in and out together. This is a great way to get a feel for each other’s bodies and can lead to some amazing orgasms.
Another way to increase emotional intimacy is by completing a few of the 36 questions that lead to love. While you’re answering these questions, be sure to maintain eye contact and don’t interrupt each other. You can even add some erotic questions to the list and see how it affects your relationship.
2. Be open to new ideas
Sexual intimacy is a key part of a romantic relationship. It’s important to try new things in the bedroom, even if they seem strange at first. Trying new sexual positions, toys, and kinks can heat up your libidos and spark passion during foreplay.
You can also use sexual intimacy to deepen your emotional connection. Achieving emotional closeness is more important than physical intimacy, and a good way to do that is by engaging in activities that encourage intimate conversations and sharing feelings. This could mean taking a class together, joining a book club, or doing couples counseling.
It’s also helpful to discuss your sexual needs and preferences with your partner. “This is a great opportunity to open up to each other, but be sure to remain inclusive and transparent,” says Dr. Cooper-Lovett. It may take multiple conversations to feel comfortable bringing up topics related to sex, and it’s okay to give each other time to respond to your requests.
Another way to increase intimacy is by reducing stress. Long-term stress can cause weight gain, disrupt sleep, and decrease libido. Finding ways to reduce your stress levels can make you and your boyfriend more intimate, and may help with sexual intimacy in particular. If you need more support, a couples counselor or individual therapist can be beneficial. You can also find a therapist near you with our free resource, Find Therapy.
3. Be vulnerable
Sexual vulnerability can be a powerful part of your relationship. Whether you’re discussing your fantasies or trying new positions in bed, being open to vulnerability can lead to a deeper connection and better sex. Vulnerability is about sharing your most authentic self with someone you trust and care about. It can be hard to be vulnerable with your partner, but it’s essential for building intimacy.
If you’re not able to be vulnerable with your partner, it can cause problems in your relationship. Not being able to communicate your feelings and thoughts will ultimately create emotional distance, which can eventually turn into sexual distance as well. It’s important to work on being able to share your emotions, even when it’s difficult.
A therapist once said, “Intimacy is not about how often you fart or drool.” This may sound harsh, but it’s true: If you’re only intimate with your partner when they fart or drool, they are probably not the right person for you. Intimacy is about being able to express your true self to someone you can trust and accept.
When it comes to sexual intimacy, many couples feel like they have lost the spark. This is often due to lack of communication and a feeling of not being fully known by their partners. One way to increase the amount of physical and emotional intimacy in your relationship is to schedule sex, be more direct about asking for what you want and take time for self-pleasure.
4. Have fun
It’s easy for physical intimacy to become routine, and it’s a good idea to try something new to keep things exciting. Try a sexy new position in bed, or try reading erotic books with your partner while lying down together. You might even want to add a little spice by adding a little striptease, which can be hilarious and make you both feel horny.
Another way to add a sexual element to your relationship is to try out some new foreplay techniques with your partner. You can ask him about his fantasies and try out different positions to see what turns him on. This can be fun and intimate, and it’s a great way to build trust and communication in the bedroom.
If you aren’t able to talk about sex with your partner, consider asking him what his sexual preferences are. It can be awkward, but it’s an important part of creating a healthy sexual intimacy.
If you’re not having much luck establishing a sense of sexual intimacy with your boyfriend, it might be time to seek professional help. An experienced marriage counselor can help you find the right strategies for building intimacy in your relationship and overcoming any emotional or sexual issues you may have. They can also teach you how to communicate effectively and explore your sexual desires safely.
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